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The Matrimonial Momentum

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"The Matrimonial Momentum" is the first episode of the ninth season of the American sitcom The Big Bang Theory. The episode aired on Monday, September 21, 2015 and is the season premiere.

Summary

Leonard and Penny arrive in Las Vegas while the gang gathers at the Wolowitz house to watch their wedding online. Sheldon pushes Amy to make up her mind about their relationship.

Extended Plot

Leonard and Penny are at a Las Vegas wedding chapel and are picking out their wedding package. Leonard finds one that has music, flowers and streams the ceremony on the Internet. Penny has always wanted a wedding with a comment section; while Leonard wants to give gorgeous blondes hope that they can land a short near-sighted scientist. Leonard wants to know if Penny wants to put it off. She tells him that it's been long enough and she's ready to do it. Sheldon then calls Leonard to tell him to not get married because women are the worst. He explains that no paper cut has ever cut him this deep. Amy has broken up with him. Leonard tells Penny. Leonard wonders if there is anything he can do. Sheldon tells him that if he ever mentions going out with a girl he should roll his eyes at him like he does when he says dumb things. Penny calls Amy as asks if she is okay. Amy wants her to come over. Penny admits that she is in Vegas getting married. Amy is shocked that she didn't invited her and that she will try and catch the bouquet of from where she is. Sheldon hears Penny talking to Amy he wants her to know that he doesn't care. Penny says that Amy isn't missing anything special which shocks Leonard. Penny explains that Amy is upset and that they'll have a great wedding. Sheldon wants Amy upset so he tells them to go ahead. 
Big-bang-theory

Hearing about the Shamy breakup.

Amy is locking her apartment, turns around and is scared by Sheldon standing in the hallway. Sheldon reminds her that she wanted time and she replies that it's only been eleven hours. When Amy is ready to talk, she is going to let him know. Since Amy is going somewhere, Sheldon asks if they could walk together. Amy agrees until Sheldon tells him that he is glad they are going out again. Sheldon wonders if she has found someone else.  Amy is heading over to Howard and Bernadette's to watch the wedding online. Sheldon tells her that they are his friends too and wonders why he wasn't invited. Amy surmises that maybe they thought the two of them being there together would be awkward. Sheldon replies that they make everybody feel awkward because that is their thing. 

The wedding chapel is running a little behind and Leonard suggests breakfast next door at the strip club. Penny doesn't want to have scrambled eggs with glitter on them. Leonard realizes that it may not be the wedding Penny envisioned, but she is fine with it. Leonard also wants her to promise that she is okay with everything brought up in the car. Penny doesn't want Leonard to keep bringing it up. He quips that they have the rest of their live to drag things up from the past and fight about it. After again mentioning breakfast, she is concerned that they might miss hearing their names called. Not to worry - the wedding chapel provided them with a vibrating coaster. "And the fairy tale continues." quips Penny. 

Amy thanked them for having her over. Bernadette asks how she is feeling, and she doesn't know since they were together for so long. Howard tells Amy that she forget what "happy" was and was glad that she prison escaped from his dark and crazy dungeon. Stuart mentions about his last break-up as Bernadette gasps when she sees Sheldon standing outside the window. Sheldon is outside because he was told that he would make everyone feels uncomfortable and he was trying to forget that he had to use the bathroom. Bernadette tells Howard to do something, so he closes the drapes. Bernadette reopens them and tells Sheldon that him being there might not be making things better. Sheldon ask why everyone was invited, but him. Amy counters this by pointing out that Bernadette invited her and Stuart lived there already; however, her claim is quickly proved false when Raj enters a second later with hot cinnamon rolls.

Leonard and Penny are receiving final instructions from the Minister, when Leonard asks about the rose petals that are supposed to be covering the aisle. The chapel is out of rose petal which the couple says is fine. A woman shouting from another room offer to use the potpourri from the bathroom. They strongly reiterate that everything is fine. They just want to get married. "This is it," remarks Leonard. Penny agrees and they tell each other that they love each other. The subject of the potpourri is again brought up interrupting their kiss and they both shout that they're good about it.
MM5

The guys watching the wedding online.

Sheldon is now watching the television in the living room and he explains to Raj why he must be wondering why he and Amy are not showing any affection. Raj tells him that that thought didn't even crack the top ten. Sheldon tells him that Amy broke up with him. Amy corrects him that she wanted time to think. As the wedding starts, Sheldon lists who is on his side who isn't.

The Minister asks Leonard and Penny if they had prepared vows. Penny is surprised that Leonard has. He tells Penny that they are made from particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. He feels like these atoms have traveled over 14 billion years to create them so they could come together and make them whole. Penny replies, Wow." She says sweetly say that he is the love of her life and her best friend and starts quoting the lyrics to 'You've Got a Friend In Me' from the Disney film "Toy Story". The minister asked if that was from "Toy Story", Penny says it was and that Leonard loves it. Leonard gets misty-eyed and confirms that he does.

Bernadette remarks that the vows were beautiful, though she agrees with Howard that theirs were better. Sheldon is now anxious to know if they are broken up or not. Amy needs time to think. Sheldon retorts that she better think fast since men can sire children their entire lives and women's eggs have a "sell-by" date. Now Sheldon has made it easy for Amy. Amy calls him immature and selfish which he has just proven by insulting her to her face. She doesn't need any more time; they are now officially broken up. Amy then storms out with Bernadette following her. Stunned and upset, Sheldon asks for a ride home and Raj volunteers. Suddenly the wedding broadcast comes to a conclusion as Leonard and Penny are pronounced man and wife... with Stuart and Howard the only ones remaining who catch it. Leonard and Penny comes up to the camera joyfully proclaiming that they did it and that are so glad that the gang could witness it. Howard quips that they'll just tell them that it was beautiful in the comments section.
Finally1

About to walk down the aisle.

Leonard opens their hotel room as Penny starts to enter. Leonard insists to carry her across the threshold which surprises Penny. Leonard carries Sheldon to bed after he falls in front of the television. Penny hops up in Leonard's arms as he huffs and puffs as he carries his wife to their honeymoon bed. They both collapse on the bed. Penny tells him that it was nicely done. Leonard is happy that there is finally one Mrs. Hofstadter (finally allowing the show to provide her with a surname) that is not disappointed in him. Penny adds that the night is still young. They start to kiss and Penny is distracted. Penny can't help, but think about Leonard kissing the girl on the boat. Leonard replies that you have a friend in me. Penny agrees, starts to kiss him again when Leonard brings it up. The kissing wasn't that sexy especially since they were drunk, she tasted like an ashtray and he also chipped her tooth. Penny wants to know if he feels guilty. Leonard jokingly says that he does not feel guilty because the girl had dental insurance. Leonard then says more seriously that he does feel guilty especially when he sees her every day at work. Penny is now truly shocked that he never told her this fact. Leonard would have told her, but in the car she told him to stop talking about it. Now Penny asks if he thinks it's her fault. Leonard wants them to just get naked and make a baby trying to lighten the mood. Penny is not happy.

Sheldon is in his apartment on the phone to his mother. He regretfully informs her that Amy broke up with him and that he would like to send the engagement ring (which is an old family heirloom, it belonged to his great-grandmother) back to Texas. She tells him not to be too hasty. Is he sure that it is over? Sheldon insists that he is done with women. His mother asks what happened. Sheldon wants to know if she is going to reply that it's God's plan. She agrees, so Sheldon doesn't elaborate. His mother tells him to keep it since his sister Missy is already married and she's not going to give it to the whore his brother is dating. 

Amy is talking to Howard and Bernadette as they try to console her telling her that everything is going to get better. Amy wonders if she did the right thing. Stuart makes a comment about that maybe the problem is that she always does that right thing and then puts his hand on her shoulder.  Amy asks him if she should do the wrong thing like he is doing right now.

Later, the newlyweds are fighting as they walk up the stairs of the apartment building. Leonard had asked Penny if she was okay with his incident and she said that it was okay. Apparently she is not okay with it snapped back Penny as she heads for her apartment. Leonard replies that he may have been unfaithful, however she is very hard to lift. Penny is left with her open mouthed and they both slam their doors.  On entering the apartment, Sheldon tells Leonard that he glowing and marriage suits him. Leonard explains that he is not glowing, he is upset.

Penny is also upset, so Sheldon brings her a hot beverage. As he is carrying a tray he says his famous line "knock knock knock Penny" line so she can open the door for him. She thinks it's sweet that he brought over the beverage. Sheldon adds that being sweet isn't enough to keep a girlfriend. Each of them are sorry about their current relationship situations. Penny mentions the girl in question. Sheldon knows Mandy Chao and that Penny doesn't have to worry about her. She is brilliant and attractive and can do much better that Leonard. Penny is thrilled. Sheldon wonders that since he is single, maybe he should start dating her, but her standards are so low since she
Wd11

Sheldon bringing upset Penny a hot beverage.

chose Leonard. Penny commented that she was with Leonard. Sheldon agrees and that it's forever. She then comments on how she can't believe Amy actually went through with breaking up with Sheldon, causing him to realize that Penny knew Amy was going to do it. Shocked, Sheldon asked why Penny didn't try to stop Amy. She answers that she told Amy to do what made her happy. Sheldon angrily comments that Amy was already happy since she plays the harp and her car is paid off. Penny tells him that it's not her fault that Amy thinks he's a lousy boyfriend. This greatly upsets Sheldon, who takes the hot beverage from Penny's hands as well as his own and leaves. As his hands are again full, Sheldon asks Penny to kindly slam the door in frustration behind him on the way out.

At the Wolowitz's, Howard learns that the Hofstadters went home to their separate apartments after a big fight. Stuart hears that Penny is all alone and replies, "Really?" Howard and Bernadette look at him funny.

Wd4

Leonard on his honeymoon with Sheldon.

Finally, Sheldon and Leonard are at their place. Sheldon is listing reasons why men are better than women. Sheldon tells Leonard that he would never kiss him, tell him he loved him and then break up. Men are the champagne of genders. Leonard sighs that he is a man and he messed up with Penny. Sheldon says that claims that Madame Curie is the exception since she had a penis made of science. Leonard can't believe that this is how he was going to spend his wedding night with Sheldon. Sheldon couldn't imagine it any other way.

Credits

Notes

  • Title Reference: The title refers the results of Leonard's marriage to Penny Hofstadter to the whole gang..
  • Taping date: August 11, 2015 (starting 6:30pm finishing ~9:45pm)
  • This episode was watched by 18.2 million people with a rating of 4.7 (adults 18-49).
  • Total viewers including DVR users 22.49 million.
  • The Big Bang Theory was ranked #4 for the week ending September 27, 2015.
  • This episode aired in Canada on Monday, September 21, 2015.
  • In the United Kingdom, this episode aired on Thursday, October 22, 2015.
  • In Australia, it aired on Tuesday, October 6, 2015 with 1.43 million viewers.
  • Chuck Lorre's vanity card [1]
  • Episode transcript [2]

Critics

  • Jesse Schedeen of IGN: The Big Bang Theory defied expectations this week, but in a good way. Rather than treating the long-awaited Leonard/Penny marriage like a happy moment for the gang, this episode leaned heavily on recent relationship drama and delivered an unusually somber and depressing storyline. While the general lack of humor was a bit disappointing, the drama-heavy focus feels right at the moment. Sheldon and Leonard both have a long journey ahead of them, and hopefully one that will anchor the season going forward. Full article at [3]
  • Johnny Appleseed of FML: Tonight the Big Bang Theory was f***ing awesome. Penny married Leonard, and got a last name!!!!
  • IMDB user reviews [4]

Trivia

  • This "Previously on the Big Bang Theory" sequence at the start of this season premiere summarizes the last two scenes from the previous season finale of "The Commitment Determination" (S8E24) and it is announced by Simon Helberg.
  • This episode is the one of three season premieres that takes place immediately after the last episode (S8E24) of the previous season, following "The Bad Fish Paradigm" (S2E1) and "The Skank Reflex Analysis" (S5E1).
  • Mary Cooper made an appearance to give Sheldon advice and the truth about the ring was revealed. This is also the second season premiere which she appears in, following the Season 3 premiere "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation" (S3E1).
  • Penny finally has a last name and it's Hofstadter.
  • Amy officially breaks up with Sheldon.
  • Penny's wedding dress is the same color as Kaley's was when she got married - pink. Also, after the episode aired, Kaley announced that she was divorcing her husband Ryan Sweeting.
  • The only guest in the audience to be photographed with any of the cast after this episode was Geoff Engelstein (designer of the excellent "Space Cadets" board game) who was taken with Kevin Sussman (Stuart).
  • Howard and Bernadette claim their wedding was much better than Leonard and Penny's. Technically, Leonard and Penny's wedding could be considered a reversal of Howard and Bernadette's. Howard and Bernadette's took place in a season finale, while Leonard and Penny's wedding was in a season premiere. All of the gang was present for Howard and Bernadette's, while Leonard and Penny's was by themselves in Las Vegas (not to mention most of the gang had stormed out before even seeing them become husband and wife over webcam) Although both weddings were marred by other relationship issues (Leonard proposing to Penny in bed, Amy dumping Sheldon), Howard and Bernadette's wedding was not seriously affected, and it ended very well. However, Leonard and Penny's wedding was rushed and ended badly.
  • Interestingly, Howard and Bernadette's wedding was also nearly ruined by the groom's secret sexual history, as revealed by Raj in "The Stag Convergence" (S5E22). However, Bernadette forgave Howard after a heart felt apology.
  • Sheldon's statement about the gang taking sides in his broken relationship is similar to what Howard said to him about taking sides in "The Spaghetti Catalyst" (S3E20), after Leonard and Penny broke up. However, no one is taking Sheldon's side.
  • As of the end of this episode, the only dating relationship still going strong is Raj and Emily (which is ironic, given that Raj was going to break up with her in the previous episode (S8E24), but didn't have the guts to do so, saving that he loved her instead.)
  • The ring from the season 8 finale is a ring that belonged to Mary Cooper's grandmother (Sheldon's great-grandmother, not his MeeMaw as speculated) - Mary encourages Sheldon to hold on to it. 
  • Entire song lyrics used in Penny's vows:

"You've Got A Friend In Me"

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy you've got a friend in me
Yeah you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles and I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them
Will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you boy

And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

  • The name of the girl from the boat is Mandy and she will appear in the next episode (S9E2).
  • Penny didn't recite the next verse of the song which had a line that really applies to her and Leonard: Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am...
  • First time Sheldon cannot knock properly since season 1 episodes "The Big-Bran Hypothesis" (S1E2) and "The Hamburger Postulate" (S1E5). This time being that his hands were full.
  • Second time Sheldon makes an insensitive comment to a girl about her biological clock that upsets her; first time was in "The Egg Salad Equivalency" (S6E12), when he told his assistant, Alex Jensen, that, "a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day; full of eggs and only appealing for a short time."
  • When Penny married Zack, they had a terrific Thanksgiving Day dinner at a strip club in Las Vegas. This time Penny turns down a breakfast buffet at the strip club next to their wedding chapel since they might not be there when the minister was ready for them in "The Thanksgiving Decoupling" (S7E9).
  • During Leonard's wedding vows he is referring to "The Big Bang Theory" when all the atoms in the universe were created.
  • Second stumble in the Shamy separation is the fault of Sheldon whose attitude forces Amy to go ahead and formalize the break-up. 
  • Penny was very happy that she was not pregnant when she got married like her sister or her own imagined wedding in "The Recombination Hypothesis" (S5E13).
  • According to Steve Molaro, the writers do want a big wedding for the Hofstadters.

Quotes

Penny: So, what package are you thinking?
Leonard: Mm, this one comes with music and flowers. Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet.
Penny: Why would we want that?
Leonard: 'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist. Let's give them hope.
Penny: Whatever. Put us on the Internet. I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section.
Leonard: If you're not OK with this we can put it off to another time.
Penny: No. I want to. We've put this off long enough. Let's do it.
Leonard: That's the same thing you said the first time we slept together.

(The Apartment 4A scene where Sheldon is on the phone to his mother)
Sheldon: Hello, Mother.
Mary: Shelly! How's my baby doing?
Sheldon: I just wanted to let you know that you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers. Unless you're open to praying for a beehive to fall on her head.
Mary: Oh, what's going on?
Sheldon: She broke up with me.
Mary: Oh, Shelly.
Sheldon: No, I'll be okay. But I think that I'd like to send the ring back to you.
Mary: Well, let's not be hasty. Are you sure it's over for good?
Sheldon: It's over for me. I'm done with women. Like when I swore off Pop Rocks. They both hurt you on purpose.
Mary: You want to tell me what happened?
Sheldon: Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan?
Mary: Good chance.
Sheldon: Then no, thank you.
Mary: Well, honey, don't send it back yet. Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.
Sheldon: Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute?
Mary: When your idiot brother redeems mankind, he can date whoever he wants.
(Sheldon shakes his head in sad silence)

(Later at Penny's apartment)
Sheldon: Knock, knock, knock, Penny? Knock, knock, knock, Penny? Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
Penny: What's this?
Sheldon: Leonard told me what happened, so I took it upon myself to make you a hot beverage.
Penny: Oh. That's so sweet of you.
Sheldon: Yeah. I know. Turns out, being sweet isn't enough to keep a girl these days. I blame Madonna.
Penny: I'm sorry to hear about you and Amy.
Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry about Leonard. Thought I raised him better than that.
Penny: You know, it's bad enough what happened, but then he tried to hide the fact that he sees her all the time at the university.
Sheldon: He does? Who is it?
Penny: (scoffs) Some girl named Mandy.
Sheldon: Mandy Chao?
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Oh, you don't need to worry about her. She's brilliant and attractive. She can do way better than Leonard.
Penny: That's great. (clears throat)
Sheldon: Wait a minute. I know this may sound farfetched, but I'm on the market now. You know, if I dated Mandy, that would teach both Leonard and Amy a lesson.
Penny: all right. That's ridiculous.
Sheldon: Oh, you're right. I could never be with a woman whose self-esteem was so low she'd be with Leonard.
Penny:I'm with Leonard.
Sheldon: Yeah, I know. Forever. (Penny sighs) Who would have believed these things would happen to us?
Penny: Right? (scoffs) I can't believe Amy actually went through with it.
Sheldon: Hang on. You knew she was going to end it with me? Did you try and stop her?
Penny: I told her to be true to herself and do what makes her happy.
Sheldon: Do what makes her happy! She plays the harp and her car is paid for. How much happier can she be?
Penny: OK. Look; it's not me fault that she thought you were a bad boyfriend.
Sheldon: (stunned and hurt) I see. (puts everything back on the tray, pulls tea-cup from Penny's hand) I think I'll be going.
Penny: Sheldon!
Sheldon: No! no! no! I think we are done here. (hands full pauses in front of Penny's door) Would you mind opening the door and then angrily slamming it behind me?
Penny: (exasperated) Sure.
Sheldon: And slam it hard because I'm pretty steamed. (Penny slams the door)

(After Leonard carries Penny across the threshold)
Leonard: No, no, no. Hang on. I believe I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold.
Penny: Can you?
Leonard: Who do you think carries Sheldon to bed when he falls asleep in front of the TV?
Penny: Okay, let's do it. (sighs) (grunts) (grunting softly)
Penny: You gonna make it?
Leonard: I'm okay! (grunts)
(both Penny and Leonard chuckle)
Penny: Nicely done.
Leonard: Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me.
Penny: Oh, well the night is still young.

(The ending scene of Leonard and Sheldon holding coffee mugs in their apartment)
Sheldon: Would you like to hear another reason why men are better than women?
Leonard: Sure, let's make it an even hundred.
Sheldon: You would never kiss me and make me say "I love you" and then break up with me.
Leonard: I wouldn't.
Sheldon: And you know why? 'Cause you're a man. The champagne of genders.
Leonard: Well, I may be a man, but I think I'm the one that screwed up on this one.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, and you admit it, like a man. All you hear women say is, "I'll just have a salad." You know? "Where's my lip gloss?" "I think this element should be called radium." That last one was Madame Curie.
Leonard: I figured that out. You know what? She was kind of an honorary man. She had a pens made of science.
Leonard': Can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you.
Sheldon: Really? I never imagined it any other way.

(The scene at the Vegas reception scene during the opening where Leonard's cell phone is ringing)
Leonard: Oh, excuse me.
(picks his phone up and answers it)
Leonard: (to Penny) Sheldon. (speaks to Sheldon) Hey.
Sheldon: Leonard. Have you gotten married yet?
Leonard: (He sighs grumpily) No. Why?
Sheldon: Good. Don’t do it.
Leonard: Why not?
Sheldon: Some new information has come to life. Women are the worst. I thought it was papercuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.
Leonard: What happened now?
Sheldon: (sighs) Amy has ended our relationship.
Leonard: Oh no. Seriously?
Penny: (worried) What’s going on.
Leonard: Amy broke up with Sheldon.
Penny: She did?
Sheldon: Is Penny crying?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: No. Of course not. They thrive on our suffering.
Leonard: Buddy, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again, roll your eyes like I do when you say dumb things.
Leonard: Sheldon, okay. Just because you’re going through this with Amy doesn’t mean that all women are bad.
Sheldon: Whatever.
Penny: Hey, I just heard about you and Sheldon. Are you okay?
Amy: (she's so miserable and grumpy) Not really. Can you come over?
Penny: (she speaks to Amy nervously) Uh, actually I’m in Vegas. Leonard and I are about to get married.
Amy: (asking Penny crossly) Hold on. You’re getting married and you didn’t invite me?
Penny: Well, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Amy: (sarcastically) Wow. Hope I can catch he boutique from here.
Penny: (scolding angrily) Amy don't be like that.
Sheldon: Why did I just hear Amy's name?
Leonard: Penny's on the phone with her.
Sheldon: Did she say anything about me? Never mind; I don't care. If you care, you can find out for me and tell me. Just don't be shocked when you find out that I don't care.
Penny: (stroppy with Amy on her phone) Would you relax. You're not missing anything special.
Leonard: Hay?
Penny: She's upset. It's going to be a great wedding. Look at you in your little suit.
Sheldon: Amy's upset?
Leonard: I think it's because we're eloping.
Sheldon: Your marriage is causing her pain? I take it back. Go ahead and do it. Yah for love!
(The intro theme of "The Big Bang Theory" starts up)

(The scene where Amy is about to leave her apartment when Sheldon is in the hallway)
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Oh! (she steps backwards to her locked door and she asks Sheldon crossly) What are you doing here?
Sheldon: When last we spoke, you said you needed time.
Amy (she looks at her watch and then yells at Sheldon) Well, it's only been 11 hours.
Sheldon: The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours. I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity.
(Amy looks down for a second and speaks to Sheldon angrily)
Amy: Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know.
Sheldon: Very well. (he points at her for a second) You seem to be headed somewhere. May I walk with you?
Amy: (sarcastically) Sure.
(They start walking down together for one second)
Sheldon: Boy, I’m glad we’re going out again.
(Amy turns around, she thinks for a second and she pretends to push Sheldon away)
Amy: We’re not back together.
Sheldon: Why? Is there someone else? You just couldn’t wait to get that first notch on your bedpost, could you?
Amy: If you must know, I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's to watch the wedding.
Sheldon: And who's this guy you're taking?
Amy: (she is informing Sheldon firmly) There's no guy!
Sheldon: Oh, you're going to a wedding alone? That's sad.
Amy: I'm not gonna be alone. I'll be with my friends.
Sheldon: (in shock) Your friends? Well, I think you mean my friends. And why wasn't I invited to this?
Amy: Maybe because the two of us being there would make them feel awkward

(The scene of the Wolowitz kitchen where Bernadette and Howard are comforting Amy while Stuart has made a mug of coffee)
Bernadette: (she's feeling sorry for Amy) I know it hurts now, but it's gonna get better.
Howard: Yeah. Everything's gonna be okay.
Stuart: (he striding up to Amy) You've got so much to offer.
Amy: (sadly) Thank you.
Stuart: Any man would be lucky to have you.
(scene of Bernadette nodding her head worryingly)
Bernadette: (she is still very worried) That's true
Amy: (she is mega-fully sad) I just hope I did the right thing.
Stuart: I'm sure you did. Maybe that's the problem-- you always do the right thing. Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing.
(Amy doesn't seem too happy with Stuart's hand on her shoulder. Howard and Bernadette looked rather shocked by this. Pan back to the unhappy Amy with Stuart's hand on her shoulder)
Amy: (she's asking Stuart sadly) Like you're doing right now?
Stuart (slowly and sadly) Exactly.

(At the end of the hallway by Amy's apartment scene when Amy starts exiting)
Sheldon: We make everyone feel awkward. That’s our thing.
(He now follows her)

(The scene at the reception of Vegas where Penny is thinking to herself)
Leonard: Look, it-it's not how I pictured it either, but I'm still glad we're doing it.
Penny: Me, too.
Leonard: You sure?
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: And you promise you're okay with everything from the car?
Penny: Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up? You're right.
Leonard: You're right. I'm sorry. We have the rest of our lives to dredge stuff up from the past and fight about it. So what do you think? Should we run next door and grab a bite?
Penny: What if they call our names?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster.
Penny: Oh, and the fairy tale continues.

(the scene of the six gang members (Raj, Amy, Bernadette, Howard, Stuart and Sheldon) in the Wolowitz living room watching Leonard's and Penny's wedding on television)
Bernadette: Aw, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah. I mean, not like our wedding beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.
(Howard clicks his teeth while both he and Bernadette do a hand-pat as like "Yeah, we've won").
Sheldon: Amy, I don't understand, are we broken up or not? It's like you can't make up your mind.
Amy: (she is still angry with Sheldon) It's because you're not giving me any space to think.
Sheldon: Well, you should think fast, because men can sire offspring their entire lives, but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date.
(Amy now looks shocked at Sheldon as she now lifts herself off the couch and she now glares at Sheldon angrily)
Amy: (She shouts at him with enormous fury) You know what, Sheldon, you've made this really easy. You're immature, you're selfish, you just insulted me to my face. (Close-up of a timid Sheldon) I don't need any more time to think. (pan back to the angry Amy) We're broken up.
(Bernadette hurries herself off the couch and follows Amy)
Bernadette: (she is sadly running after her) Amy...
(Amy is now out of sight. There is a sound of the dining room door just as Bernadette runs out of sight)
Sheldon: Will someone take me home?
Raj: Yeah. Come on, I'll give you a ride.
(Sheldon and Raj both leave the Wolowitz house with Howard and Stuart watching them leave)
Minister: (voice over from the TV)...symbolizes your eternal love. I now pronounce you husband and wife.
(Howard and Stuart turn again to face the TV after hearing the last 7 words of the Minister; Both of them are stunned)
(pans the to the scene of Leonard and Penny on the TV screen)
Penny: We did it!
Leonard: I'm so glad you guys could watch!
(They muck around with excitement and then the TV screen pans to the scene of Howard and Stuart looking distraught at each other)
Howard: We'll say it was beautiful in the comment section.
(He now reaches out for a cinnamon roll and the scene fades to black when he puts it on the plate).

(Scene at the Vegas wedding reception of Penny and Leonard)
Leonard: They're running a little behind. Should be pretty soon.
Penny: Okay (nods her head sadly)
Leonard: Hey, if you’re hungry there’s a breakfast buffet at the strip cub next door.
Penny: Thanks, but I don’t like glitter on my scrambled eggs.
Leonard: I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay.

(The scene at the Wolowitz sitting room where Howard is connecting wires to the television whilst Bernadette, Amy and Stuart drinking hot beverages together).
Amy: Thank you for doing this.
Bernadette: (she speaks with concerned happiness) Our pleasure. (she is terribly worried) You feeling okay?
Amy: (she sighs) We were together for so long, I honestly don’t know what I am feeling.
Howard: Well, that’s understandable. You forget. It’s called “happy”.
(Howard struggles to find a hole to connect the cable to the television).
Bernadette: (she scolds at Howard with firmness) Howard
(Howard has finally finished plugging the cable into the hole of the television's edge)
Howard: I'm not saying anything bad. Just that she was in love with her captor and somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon.
(Amy just gazes crossly up at the ceiling)
Stuart: I know what you're going through. My-my last breakup was pretty tough.
Amy: (she's rather puzzled with curiosity) What was her name?
Stuart: Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree.
(Amy remains angry and quiet. Bernadette turns around and suddenly gasps at Sheldon through the window. Sheldon looks around through the window for a second. Bernadette slams her mug down and she gets up to the window)
Bernadette: (she's suddenly very cross) For God's sake, Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: I didn't want to come in. I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.
(Amy gazes around the room pretending not to see Sheldon)
Sheldon: So I'll just stay out here and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.
(Bernadette suddenly turns her head away from Sheldon angrily and Amy has a glare of anger by what had happened)
Bernadette: (she orders Howard with calm anger) Howie! do something
Howard: (he mutters grimily) I'm on it.
(Howard strides up to the drapes and he immediately closes them, he now strides back to the TV whilst Bernadette still looks very cross by all of this. She now opens the drapes again)
Bernadette: (she yells at Sheldon through the window crossly) Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better.
Sheldon: (He yells through the window) I see! And is that why everybody was invited but me?
Amy: (she is now gigantically angry) They didn't invite everybody but you. (scene of Bernadette gazing crossly at Sheldon) Bernadette invited me (pan to Amy referring to Stuart) and Stuart lives here.
(Raj opens the dining room door and Raj immediately enters the lounge with a big tray)
Raj: (in a sing-songy voice) Who wants hot cinnamon rolls?
(Bernadette just continues smiling crossly at Sheldon and ignores Raj)

Minister: So, when you hear the music, that's your cue. Any questions?
Leonard: Oh, the package that we paid for said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals.
Minister: Where are the rose petals?!
Woman: We're out!

You know what?

Leonard: It's fine.
Woman: We can use the potpourri from the bathroom!
Penny: Really, we're good. (she chuckles for a bit)
Leonard: Yup, just want to get married.
Penny: Yeah.
Minister: Great. I'll see you two up there.
Leonard: This is it.
Penny: I know.
Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you, too.
Woman: Was that a yes or no on the potpourri?!
Penny: No, thank you!
Leonard: We're good!

(The scene of Leonard's and Penny's wedding)
Minister: Before I go any further, have either of you prepared your own vows.
Penny: No.
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: You wrote vows?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Well, I don’t have any. You’re kind of making me look bad.
Leonard: Its okay. I don’t have to say them.
Penny: I’ll come up with something mushy. You’ll cry. We got this.
Leonard: Penny, we are made of particles that have existed since the universe began. I like to think those atoms have traveled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole.
Penny: Wow.
Minister: Penny.
Penny: Right..um..okay. Leonard, I mean, you’re not only the love of my life. I mean, you’re my best friend. You’ve got a friend in me. You got troubles. I got them, too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together, and we can see it though…cause you got a friend in me.
Minister: Isn’t that the song from “Toy Story”?
Penny: He loves that movie.
Leonard: I do.

(The scene on the honeymoon bed where Leonard stops kissing Penny and tells her about his incident)
Leonard: Okay, listen. Uh... If you're imagining that it was sexy, it wasn't. We-we were both drunk, and she smelled like an ashtray. The boat was moving a lot, so I chipped her tooth.
Penny: Did you feel guilty?
Leonard: No, she had dental insurance.
Penny: (repeating the question angrily) Did you feel guilty after kissing her?
Leonard: Yes. I felt guilty as soon as it happened. I feel guilty every time I see her.
Penny: (she starts getting really angry) What do you mean every time you see her?
Leonard: What … do I mean. Boy, that’s a toughie.
Penny: You still see her?
Leonard: Well, no, not socially. But, you know, just at work.
Penny: (she's so enormously angry) You work with her? (Leonard sighs) How could you not tell me that?
Leonard: I wanted to tell you in the car, but you told me to stop talking.
Penny: Okay, so you’re saying now saying it’s my fault?
Leonard: No, of course not. Okay, look instead of fighting, why don’t we dim the lights, get naked and make a baby? I was trying to lighten the mood. It’s not easy. You try it.

(The scene of Leonard and Penny climbing up to their apartments)
Leonard: (aggressively) I asked you over and over if you were okay. Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren’t?
(Penny now strides to the door of her apartment)
Penny: (she's so cross with Leonard) I thought I was okay, but it turns out I was not.
Leonard: (stopping her) Okay, listen I may not have entirely faithful, but you, you are not easy to lift.
(Leonard nods angrily and opens his and Sheldon's apartment door. Penny opens her mouth with a gigantic shock after being shouted at by Leonard. We now see Leonard slam the door when he is now in the apartment).
Sheldon: (he's surprised after seeing Leonard storm in) wow! Well, marriage must agree with you. Well, you are just glowing.
Leonard: I'm not glowing. I'm upset.
(Leonard now leaves for his room with so much fury)
Sheldon: Well, whatever it is, it agrees with you.

(The scene of the six gang members (Raj, Amy, Bernadette, Howard, Sheldon and Stuart) watching the wedding starting to begin, the string instruments are playing "Bridal Chorus" through the audio of the television).
Sheldon: (He yells to Raj) Raj, you're probably wondering why Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another
Raj: Didn't even crack the top ten.
(Sheldon glares at Raj and it pans to Bernadette and Amy looking distraught)
Sheldon: Well, you should know that she recently broke up with me.
(Pan to Amy speaking to Sheldon while the distraught Bernadette says nothing)
Amy: I said I needed time to think.
Raj: (sighs and then speaks)
Sheldon: You hear that? Raj is devastated.
(pan to the couch where Amy, Bernadette, Howard and Stuart are sitting)
Bernadette: (she shushes Sheldon and she informs him crossly) Sheldon, shh. The wedding's starting.
Sheldon: I see what's happening. Sides are forming. Well, if Bernadette's on Amy's team, I pick Howard.
Howard: (he's whispering crossly to Sheldon) I'm not taking sides.
Sheldon: Fine, I guess I'm stuck with Raj.
Raj: Really?
Stuart: At least you got picked.
(the scene of the four people on the couch pans to the scene of Leonard and Penny's wedding).

(The scene of the Wolowitz kitchen where Bernadette is sitting at the table with a coffee mug, Howard has finishing pacing up and down the kitchen whilst speaking to Leonard on his cell phone and Stuart is washing up)
Howard: (he's wishing Leonard a sad goodbye) All right, Leonard, hang in there. Talk to you tomorrow.
Bernadette: (she's looking very worried) What happened? They just got married.
(Howard sits down at the table with her and he sighs with upsetness)
Howard: I don't know. It's a mess. They had a huge fight in Vegas.
Bernadette: (she's asking him worringly) Think they'll break up?
Howard: (he sighs) I don't know. Sounds pretty bad. Penny's back in her apartment all by herself.
(Stuart turns around and looks down at the upset Howard)
Stuart: (slowly) Really?
(Bernadette and Howard both look up at him in surprise and say nothing. Stuart now looks confused).

Leonard: Everything all right?
Penny: Yeah. I guess.
Leonard: Just tell me.
Penny:: It's just, when we were kissing, I couldn't help, but picture you with that other girl.
Leonard: Oh, no. No, come on. I have a friend in you. You said so.
Penny: You're right. Just forget it.

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