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"The Stars Nearest To Me" is a song Sheldon created as part of a game to be played while traversing flights of stairs, as he often uses commute time to exercise his mind with brain-teasers and intellectual games. It names the stars of the stellar systems nearest to our solar system, ordered by increasing distance and terminating with the farthest (3.51 pc) first-magnitude star within 5 parsecs: Procyon A.
In "The Desperation Emanation", while avoiding Amy, Sheldon rhythmically descended the stairs at the apartment building, using them to guide him like a cosmic distance ladder through this song. In his initial attempt he forgot the trinary star system in the constellation Aquarius, EZ Aquarii, and, as he characteristically restarts any failed endeavor until it is perfected, assumedly repeats the process from the top of the stairs, correcting his error.
The lyrics are now outdated, as 4 stars have since been found closer to the solar system than Procyon.
- Proxima Centauri's the nearest star.
- The celestial bodies that follow are:
- Alpha Centauri A,
- Barnard's Star,
- Wolf 359,
- Lalande 21185,
- Sirius A,
- Sirius B,
- BL Ceti,
- UV Ceti,
- Ross 154,
- Ross 248,
- Epsilon Eridani,
- Lac 9352,
- Ross 128,
- EZ Aquarii A,
- EZ Aquarii B,
- EZ Aquarii C,
- Procyon A...
- Those are the stars that are nearest to me,
- Tra-la-la and fiddle-dee-dee!